tweekee
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Member Since: 12/9/2003

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Tuesday, January 03, 2006

I've never felt like contacting a stranger before, but now, perhaps, this is someone who needs it.  Oh, but I'm so afraid and untrusting. 

The facial expressions I make don't match my feelings.  This I've concluded after many days of one-handed shots with my digicam.  Unfortunately, I look upset, even when I am trying to make an endearing expression.  Weird.


Sunday, January 01, 2006

How naive am I, really?  Isn't it incredible the danger that lurks just a click away?  How easy it is now to persist in these unhealthy conditions.  Otherwise intelligent people convincing themselves that they are happy...should I cry for these poor young souls who are anything but innocent?  Or, maybe I should condemn them to their fates...after all, it is of their own making.  And, not so long ago, I could have counted myself among them.

I think I need a hero.  I need someone to look up to with adoring eyes.  I need to place someone on this pedestal that has gone unoccupied far too long.  Yes, I know...whoever ascends to that lofty position will inevitably fall...they all do...but at least, for a moment, I can gaze at greatness and let the flame of aspiration burn a bit. 

"The opposite of love is not hate, it's indifference."  I've been indifferent for a very long time. 

I like discovering that someone more articulate than myself has so wonderfully captured a sentiment I share...and I only hope that I will remember that line if ever the appropriate occasion arises...which is unlikely given my lack of conversational companions.  Nevertheless...

 Meredith: I'll tell you what I don't want. I don't want all this calculated artificiality. This dress, these stupid little bows in my hair, they aren't me. I mean, look at you. You - you don't sit around your house in an Armani suit, do you?

Trent: No. My house is black-tie

................................................

Oh...and this just makes me laugh...sounds like something i would say...maybe...in 10 years...

Countess: Aren't you going to congratulate me?
Lord Arthur Goring: Congratulations.
Countess: Aren't you going to ask what for?
Lord Arthur Goring: What for?
Countess: I've made a great decision. I've decided to get married.
Lord Arthur Goring: My God! Who to?
Countess: That part is yet to be determined.

Hahaha...always rely on Oscar for a good laugh...

Oh, I almost forgot.  I'd like to burn a mixup of these songs...the top 10 flashback requests on a local radio station that became the soundtrack to my drive around the countryside...

10. 8675309 Jenny -- Tommy Tutone

9. Love Shack -- B52s

8. Summer of 69 -- Bryan Adams

7. Your Love -- Outfield

6. You Shook Me All Night Long -- AC/DC

5. Billy Jean -- Michael Jackson

4. Here I Go Again -- Whitesnake

3. Girls Just Wanna Have Fun -- Cindy Lauper

2. Livin on a Prayer -- Bon Jovi

1. Pour Some Sugar on me -- Def Leppard

Man, the 80's were hot!  What happened to all that great music? 


Friday, December 30, 2005

 These past few days have given me ample time to spend acquainting myself with the great movies I had not yet seen.  My favorite would have to be "The Godfather" trilogy.  Had I only known how wonderful it would be, I would have seen it long before.  I loved watching Al Pacino sharpen his character and I have to say that my strongest emotion was one of sympathy.  How is it that you can watch these people commit such crimes and still think them innocent--victims, even?  Not once did I condemn the Corleones for doing what they did, although this being a movie, that may not be a true representation of my actual feelings should it occur in reality.  More on that later.  In any case, I was in awe of every character...Brando, Pacino, Caan, Duvall, DeNiro, and, dare I say it, especially Diane Keaton.  I loved her Kay, I loved watching the way her face changes on screen, and I can't believe I never saw her in her younger days.  Where are the great actors and actresses of our generation?  Are there any young stars of today that are not hanging on to the tail end of their 15 minutes?  I'm not a movie buff, but it will be interesting to see if any young stars today make it in their old age as well as some of today's older stars have.  I think that is one of the most fascinating aspects of celebrity...seeing them age, and whether their talent has any longevity.  

Elsewhere, the question of morality and what is "good" or "right" has come up...a popular theme in many films. In one such movie I recently watched, a character advises, "When you stand before God you cannot say 'but I was told by others to do thus' or that 'virtue was not convinient at the time'.  This will not suffice."  Well, since I don't believe in a Judgement Day, that eliminates that problem, doesn't it?  But in actuality, people do rarely seem to live their lives by the moral code they profess to believe.  I find hypocrisy to be one of the most intolerable aspects of our species for I believe that most, if not all, people are guilty of it at some point, almost as common as lying.  I know I'm guilty of it, and that really irritates me.  I'm doing my best to live with it...

In other stories, I like the NY Times because it consistently reaffirms the fact that I am far from unique in my contemplations.  Two recent articles seem to be especially relevant.  The first article points out that intense self-reflection has the unfortunate tendency of bringing on depression and lowers our self-esteem and happiness.  Indeed, it is better, when unhappy, to put aside all our deep and profound ideas and focus instead on the latest Will Ferrell movie.  The second article argues that the focus on achieving happiness in our lives is a relatively recent movement, i.e. 200 years old.  Before we were expressly given the right to pursue happiness, most people didn't spend so much time thinking about how to obtain it.  And, as most are aware, we as a people are no happier now than we were 200 years ago.  In fact, I wanted to delve more deeply into the research, but after I Google Scholar-searched "happiness" I became overwhelmed by all the hits and just decided to scrap that.  Suffice it to say, I probably shouldn't cogitate so long on the subject lest I convince myself I am unhappier than I really am. 

Yesterday I drove around Cayuga Lake.  Took a couple of hours, but was a lovely drive.  Some parts even reminded me of the drive around the North Shore...yes, a stretch, but I have an active imagination.  Really, the similarities probably end at the shoreline.  Here, in the Northeast, the snow on one side and the frozen water on the other are pretty unmistakable as signs that we're not in Kansas anymore...I mean, Hawaii.  Today, it was snowing my favorite kind of snow.  Snow is so much nicer to watch than rain, don't you think?  Today it was drifting down in large fluffy cotton balls.  I find it so mesmerizing that I sometimes forget that I'm driving, which is pretty dangerous...I almost ran a red light and ended up strieking to a halt partway through the intersection. 

I found a website that I thought was interesting.  The Mirror of Beauty site...fascinating facts and tutorials.